Saturday, 18 February 2012

Change for the Better

Two months. I have two months left till I am supposed to return to work. I have loved the time I've spent with my son as a stay at home mom. I'm trying to make the best of it. You know that knot in your stomach you get when you dread something? That pit stuck in your gut? That's what I have when I think of going back to my old job.

In actual fact, I really don't like my old job and some of the people there. I haven't enjoyed myself or my work in a very long time. I think that's part of the reason I got sick (but that's another post). The other day, I had a friend and my cousin over for lunch. We talked about work and I told them that I don't want to go back. My husband started working on his new company in the last two months, but he hasn't received any funding yet. We're planning on moving to another city, but we can't go until everything is settled. So I have to go back to work until we move to make money and then I can stay at home with my son (that's the plan). 

"Take pride in how far you've come and have faith in how far you'll go." 
-C. Larson
Back to the lunch, I told them I didn't want to return because I had such a bad time there and there was this very negative energy I felt while I was there that lifted on the day I left. The day I stepped out of the building, I felt this huge negative weight physically leave my body. It was surreal. When I told them this, they laughed, but I was so serious. So when they said, you can't work for even a few months? I said, I can't.

Sometimes you live day to day and never realize that you've settled. A lot of people are like that, I know that I was. And then one day I woke up and realized, I can do so much more, I can be so much more and I haven't been treating myself the way I should have. I let myself think that it was okay to be unhappy and that this was as good as it gets, but it's not. Knowing that I lost myself then and had this negative energy all that time is terrible. And knowing that, how can I go back? I can't. I've decided not to go back. This is major for me. So now, what am I going to do? 

That same night I was watching Oprah's Lifeclass and she was talking about energy. How you are responsible for the energy you bring to your life. It felt in line with what exactly I was thinking. I need to bring positive energy back into my life. Since I've been off, I feel like I've come alive again and it's a wonderful feeling that I haven't felt in a long time. Even my husband has noticed, and I feel it too, inside and out. I have more energy, I am taking care of myself and I love being a mom to my baby boy. Maybe it's because I feel all the love in my life has brought me to a better place, but something inside me can't settle for anything less anymore. Know what I mean? It's like I wasn't really living all that time, and I didn't believe enough in myself to deserve better, but I do now.

During our lunch, I considered returning there for a brief moment after they suggested I go back, but then I thought of all the negativity I felt while I was there and then changed my mind. It won't be good for my peace of mind, or for my family. I want to come home to my son and husband with positivity and joy. That doesn't seem to much to ask for in life is it?

I plan on looking for something new, it doesn't matter what it is, just as long as it gives me something to look forward to; until the day I can stay at home with my son, which is what I feel I was meant to do.

If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we aren't really living.
-Gail Sheehy

Tuesday, 24 January 2012


Yesterday I was working on a major forgiveness burden I have carried over the years and I found it quite difficult to let go. I found it was easy to let go of certain events in my life and even had a light-bulb, “ah-hah!” moment last weekend about forgiving myself for something I didn't even realize I was carrying and was holding me back. I was able to forgive myself and found it quite cathartic to release the burden of failures I've had in the past, I even cried when I realized I could move on. It's amazing when you discover something like that. I suddenly feel free to succeed in that area of my life!

As for the “major” burden I am currently carrying, it has to do with a person, of whom I shall not name. Needless to say, I started writing all the things that happened between me and that person and all the emotions that go with it. I found it very difficult to forgive many of the things I wrote about. Forgiving was pretty hard and I'm not even done yet. I'm still trying to let go of past hurts (I'm the one carrying the emotional baggage of it all) and am finding it difficult to let go of years of pent up negative emotions. It's hard to change overnight. Really, it's not a simple as it seems. I am however trying to change my perspective, by remembering that no one is perfect and we all have our vices. Practicing forgiveness and starting with the small issues coupled with time is going to help.

Forgive me?
So on a lighter and more positive note, I want to talk about something I have really come to enjoy over the past year: affirmations. Affirmations are short statements that you say, write down, remind yourself until it becomes part of your thought process. Affirmations make you aware of what you want in life. They are positive reminders that change your thought process and your mood. You are asserting a thought that you want to become a truth. 

The more positive affirmations you make, the more you will see beauty in your life. Affirmations are always done in present tense so that they may become a truth to you. They are there to counter the negative thinking that might be your current situation. You can grab some off the internet to start or you can create your own:

1) Write in the present tense, not in the future
2) Be positive
3) Use words that are powerful and bring emotion
4) Repeat it to yourself by saying the statement out loud or looking at it a few times a day
5) Feel the emotions that come with what you are saying (important)
6) Have faith that it is already yours

If you want to find a better job, for example, instead of saying “I will no longer work in a crummy job”“I have found the job that I love to do” (positive).

A lot of the times, people are quite negative, even without realizing it. You might tell yourself,”I can't achieve this” and so your subconscious accepts that you can't and negative things happen. You attracted it with your thoughts. So why not do the opposite?

Stating what you want to be true in your life can transform your thoughts and your life. If you feel the statements to be true and really believe that it's yours, it will attract itself to your life.

Here is a list of affirmations I have found over time (on the net...can't remember who I grabbed them from!) There are so many categories to choose from. Print out this list or make your own and put it in a place where you can see it everyday. I'm sure it'll do you good!

I am grateful for my healthy body and I bless every part of my body.
I am living a long and healthy life.
My body already knows how to heal and thrive. I allow my system to bring me to optimum health.
As I follow the path of forgiveness, life becomes a new, clean slate on which I can draw my new life plan as I wish.
I release myself from my anger and let the past go.
Forgiveness is a gift I give to myself over and over again.

On the soul level, I release all fear of failure.
My written goals are helping me to achieve my life's purpose.
I recognize the barriers to achieving my goals and I move around them, over them and through them.
My mind and body are in complete alignment with the Universe and I am always in the flow.
I let go of fear. I let go of pain. I live in love.
I have unwavering faith.
Living in the Present Moment
This moment is mine. I choose to live life now.
I allow myself to experience this moment fully.
Good Morning Life! I am so grateful to be alive today.

Releasing Fear
I release my fear of failure. I am motivated by love, always.
I know that anything is possible when I put my mind to it.
I am a success.

Changing Careers
My intuition clearly guides me to my new career.
Changing careers is easy and joyous.
My career lets me express who I truly am.
Money flows to me easily, frequently and abundantly.
Money is positive energy that takes care of my worldly needs and desires.
I know that the world is prosperous. I notice prosperity all around me.
Positive Self
Positive energy flows through me; each cell of my being is awake and alive with joy.
I release all negativity that is blocking the divine expression of who I am.
I am proud of myself.
I am open to success.
I am successful and people are proud of me, excited for me and open to friendship.
Releasing all fear, I step into the success of accomplishing my dreams.

Today I will take one step toward my dreams.
I possess the wisdom, the power, the motivation, the inspiration and the passion to accomplish anything and everything I choose.
Today is filled with opportunity. Everywhere I look I see it, and I trust my intuition to follow where it leads.

Friends & Family
Friendships have a life-cycle of their own. I am grateful for the gifts I have received from my friend and I allow him/her the freedom to explore life apart from me. I know that the friend I need at each moment in my life will appear with perfect timing.
I am surrounded by the love of friends and family.
My friendships are filled with love and joy.

Happiness is everywhere I choose to see it, in the wag of a dogs tail, in the laugh of a child, in the bloom of a flower.
Right now, as I think this thought, circumstances are shifting to flood every aspect of my life with happiness.
I release all negativity and hold joy in my heart.

I unconditionally give my love.
I have the honour of sharing my life with my love.
The warmth of love surrounds me.

Peace is the default state of the Universe, and I allow peace to permeate my work and my life.
Peace of mind is within me. I am serene even in the midst of great turmoil. Serenity is my natural state of mind.
I stay centred within and respond peacefully to all circumstances. All I encounter and interact with treat me with respect and kindness.

That's about all for affirmations. Just say it, believe it, feel it, and it's yours!

Saturday, 14 January 2012

Hope, Faith, Love, & Miracles

When I was 25, I had to have emergency surgery because I had a borderline tumor that engulfed my right ovary, and it and my ovary had to be removed. The doctors told me that I didn't have to worry and that I should be fine to have kids. Less than a year later, a month after marrying my husband, I went in for a check-up and found out I had another growth on my left. I was told that I would have to have surgery and might have to have my ovary removed, therefore I would unlikely have any children. I was devastated. The thought of having a child was so far from my mind before the surgery, but when I found out that I may never have any, I realized how much I wanted to be a mother. It was life changing. I had never prayed so hard for something in my life. I asked and pleaded with God, the universe, whomever, to give me a chance to be a mother and that I would be a really good one if given the chance. That I wouldn't take it for granted, that I knew it would be a miracle if it happened.

Even though the odds were against me, I had hope and faith that it would work out. Faith is having a belief in someone or something that's not based on proof. It's something I never thought of when I was younger, but it's something I've come to rely on during tough times in my life these last few years. Faith has become such an integral part of my life; believing in something greater than myself leads me to being more spiritual.

The day of my surgery, before I went in, the attending doctor came up to me and said, without me even having to tell her how important this surgery was, “I will do everything in my power to save your ovary.” She told me exactly what I wanted to hear. I went into the surgery and when I woke up the nurse told me, “they saved your ovary”. It was such a relief.

After I recuperated, I told my husband that we would try right away. Here was my chance and I was going to take it. We tried and tried, months passed and I got anxious. I didn't know if I would have any recurring tumors, so we decided to do In Vitro Fertilization (IVF). The cost was quite substantial, but we decided to do it. Unfortunately, the first try failed and it was so hard to cope with the loss. IVF is never a guarantee and the emotions and physical efforts put into it can be exhausting, especially when it doesn't work out. I fell into a depression, we were out of money and I didn't know what to do. The guilt of not being able to have what so many take for granted, was hard for me to deal with. All around me family and friends were having kids with ease, and/or complaining to me about their kids, or asking me why I wasn't pregnant yet, etc...I felt like I could not get away from it all. I needed to take care of myself. That's when I came across this quote,

Act as if everything depended on you, pray as if everything depended on God”

So I did. I decided to take care of myself (I ate better, started jogging, did things that gave me joy), but I also put it out there what I wanted and waited for a sign. A good friend of mine at the time also told me, “if you really want something, tell yourself that it will happen and give yourself a date” and that's what I did. I wrote on a piece of paper “By May 16th 2011...” and stuck it on a picture frame on my desk at work, as a reminder that I would either be pregnant or have a baby by that date. I looked at it everyday and I waited...

"By the end of this year...May 16th 2011"

We decided to try again in June 2010, after I was feeling better. We signed up for another treatment and were due to start in July, but then the government announced that IVF would be free to patients in Quebec and that there would be a waiting list. We called the clinic and were told that they were figuring out the list and weren't taking anyone until it was all done. We didn't know where we would fall on the list, we were told it might take six months to a year. I was sad, but I kept on praying and telling myself that by May 2011 I would either be pregnant or have a baby.

One day early August, this MSN article was the first thing I saw after coming to my desk after lunch. It was about a couple who had 3 babies in one year. It felt like a sign. Especially the part in which her friend says, “If you want to be a parent, you will be a parent.” When I read that, I felt like she was talking to me. That day, I called my husband to call the clinic and see how the list was going. After a work meeting I got back to my desk and there was a message. I will never forget it. My husband had called the nurse to ask if they were close to figuring who got to go first and she asked for my name and number. The message was from the nurse, “I looked at your file, and if you want, you can come in to start treatment tomorrow.” I literally jumped out of my seat.

I started a new treatment that week and after all the medications, I was able to get two eggs and only one fertilized. When I went in for the day of transfer, the doctor told me, “it only takes one good one” with a smile. I will never forget that. The wait for the pregnancy blood test was two weeks, but I couldn't wait. During that time, I had two dreams that I was pregnant, one where I was dancing and holding my belly, and another of the baby in my belly. A few days before my blood test, I did an at-home pregnancy test and it came out a light positive. I woke my husband up and told him. We were quietly excited, but I didn't want to jinx anything. Everyday until my blood test, I did a test. And everyday it came out darker and positive. When we got the official results we were over the moon. 
 Positively amazing!

Today, I have a beautiful baby boy. And he was born in May 2011 by the way. I know people may think that it was all a coincidence that he was born the month that I wished for, especially since I was the one who called for the IVF. But I really believe that my hope and faith, coupled with the collective hope of my husband, our parents, our friends and those that knew and loved us wished for us too, the love I had planned for this child and the love from our friends and family. And all those little signs I saw and reacted to, was was brought me to where I am today.

And even when he cries incessantly and it gets on my nerves, I remind myself of what a miracle he truly is. And I am so grateful that I asked and prayed, and when given the chance, I acted on it.

Act as if everything depended on you, pray as if everything depended on God”

If you really want something, with all of your being, you can have it, you just have to keep the faith. Visualize what you want, feel the emotions that come with having what you want, write it down, and put it out there. Tell someone, so they can ask for you too.

Don't give up, because what you want might be closer than you think. And it doesn't matter how you get there, as long as you get there. The path it takes may not be what you planned, but it really doesn't matter. You just need to believe, I know, because it happened to me :) 
MJ at 6 months

Sunday, 8 January 2012

Letting Go Part 2

Wow, great news! I have actually been cleaning up, EVERY DAY since the new year!!! I have been making the bed every morning, putting the baby's toys away each night, taking care of the mail, and many other stuff like it's nobody's business! I've even got in some time to make MJ's baby food, start a painting of my pup Leia, and cooked some great food. Where did all this time come from? I have no idea, but I like it! Also, I am EXHAUSTED, but happy that things are getting done!

One last thing on the cleaning up the clutter note, for those that have jewelry that's all over the place (like I did), here's a neat idea that I myself cannot claim I came up with, but saw it somewhere on some show. Instead of a jewelry box that doesn't have that many compartments, go to any all-purpose store and invest in a fishing tackle box. That's right, a plastic tackle box. I bought one at Walmart for five bucks and now my earrings are all in order, amazing!

Best $5 I've spent in a while!

So back to my theme of letting go...
Hanging onto resentment is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head.
-- Ann Landers

Let go. Why do you cling to pain? There is nothing you can do about the wrongs of yesterday. It is not yours to judge. Why hold on to the very thing which keeps you from hope and love?
-- Leo Buscaglia

Letting go doesn’t mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be.
-- Anon

Letting go of the past, the things that you hold onto and all the emotions that go with them. There were many times in my life where someone disappointed me, didn't live up to my expectations, hurt and wronged me and never apologized for it. There were also may times where I disappointed myself, for not saying or doing the right things. I can sit here and make a list, but it would only bring back all the negative emotions that come with thinking about them. Reliving those events over and over are wasting my todays and tomorrows. They already happened and I cannot change what was, no matter how I wish things were different.

And here's where reliving the past screws you over and no one else. It's only you that carries the emotional burden on your shoulders. Choosing to remain angry, sad, etc, only hurts yourself. The person that wronged you, they're not thinking about how they hurt you. They're probably enjoying their dinner as we speak. As much as we'd like for people to feel our “pain”, they don't. More often, they move forward, while you hold yourself back and hold a pity party. That's how I sometimes felt. Some event would happen in my day, and I would be reminded about an incident and then I would feel physically awful. That's how much it would affect me. And emotions like that, can change the mood of your whole day. Your life. It just eats away at the good things that are happening in your life right now and you lose sight of what's good. You cannot control what other people do, you can only control your reaction. Forgiving a situation, a person, yourself, it's not for them, it's for yourself.

You'll feel so much better, physically and mentally; the heavy burdens you carry will be lifted and you'll feel free. Some benefits of forgiveness are:
  • Well-being spiritually, physically, & mentally
  • Healthier relationships
  • Less stress, anxiety, depression
  • Lower blood pressure

Forgiveness is a gift I give to myself over and over again.

Practicing forgiveness is something that needs to be done constantly. It's easy to get mad at someone or a situation, when you're used to doing that, but I think that if you remind yourself everyday and you practice (just like a little kid learning their ABC's) one day you'll just wake up and it'll be a way of life. Some ways to start forgiveness is to:

Start small. Forgive the little things (for example) some sales attendant that was unfriendly, a car that cut you off, your spouse for not reading your mind (haha). The next time a situation occurs, instead of being defensive or annoyed, make it a point to ask yourself, is it worth getting upset right now? Do I want to live in a negative state? More or less, you'll probably let it go.

Write a heartfelt letter to someone who has hurt you (remember that you don't need to mail it, it's really for you...unless you really need to, by all means send it). By expressing the situation and the hurt feelings you can get a load off of shoulders. Tell them how you felt, how they hurt you and then visualize them listening to what you have to say or reading it (even if it's not in their real nature). At the end of it, tell them, “I forgive you. I release this negative burden I carried. You no longer have a hold on me.”

Ask for forgiveness. If you have wronged someone and you know it, ask for forgiveness and mean it. It is a very humbling experience. Personally, I know I have had many situations where I walked away because I could not bring myself to admit my wrongs. Relationships have suffered because of it, and I know that if I had only let go of my pride and said “I'm sorry” things would have turned out differently. If you have a chance to apologize to someone, do it. Because you might just get back a relationship you thought was lost.

Also, there is a way to apologize. A bad apology is always worse than not giving one at all. It's insulting to the other person to receive a half-apology. Some bad examples are:

  • I'm sorry you feel bad about... it's like saying they can't control their own emotions
  • I'm sorry for what I've done, but you also need to apologize to me... I need an apology so I'm apologizing to you.
  • I'm sorry but... my all-time favorite. It's giving an excuse for why you did what you did, you're not really accountable.
  • Sorry!” said in a pushy or phony way. It needs to be done sincerely!

The best apology is:
  • (Sincerely) "I am sorry that I hurt you by state the wrong doing here. I didn't mean to do it. What can I do to make things better?"
Doesn't that sound nice? And if someone wronged you and they don't say sorry back, that's out of your control and why let it eat at you. Forgive them (for yourself!) and move on.

Forgiveness means that you are no longer a victim to your circumstances. Ask yourself, do you want to be a victim or a hero to yourself? I personally want to be the hero and save my life.

One of the things I have been doing the last year and a half is saying affirmations. Daily. Basically, you say a phrase each day that you really believe in. You think about it and feel the feelings that come with saying that phrase, and remind yourself as much as you can. You can even write it down somewhere you can see. By doing this, you remind yourself of what you want, where you want to be, and the positive emotions that come with them. Here are some really good forgiveness affirmations that I've found:

I release myself from my anger and let the past go. 
My memory of this situation is healed. I move forward with renewed joy toward life.

Forgiveness expands within me to let the past go and open my eyes to the happiness of tomorrow. 
I now liberate my past from my mind, body and affairs. I AM free! 
I set my past free and forgive myself.

I release resentment and let it go. The past has no power over me.

I let go of everything inside that is holding me back, which automatically unlocks positive energy that propels my life to a bright and exciting level.

I face negative and difficult people with kindness, forgiveness, and positivity.

    Forgiveness is the best gift to give brings you and others peace of mind, and if that isn't closer to heaven, I don't know what is :)

    Sunday, 1 January 2012

    Letting Go for a Simpler Life

    As the new year brings lots of promise and hope for the future, so come the new years resolutions. As hard as it was in past years to keep, I am hopeful that this year will be different. One of resolutions I have is to learn to let go.

    You cannot let go of anything if you cannot notice that you are holding it. Admit your “weaknesses” and watch them morph into your greatest strengths.” 
    Neale Donald Walsh

    I would like to be able to let go of material things (clutter), the past (which I cannot change), and emotions over the things I cannot control. All these things are stressful and bring me further away from enjoying my life now and living in the moment. No one truly knows how much time we have here on earth, so I want to make the most of it. When I'm old and grey and my time is through here, I'd like to say that I lived my life in the best possible way. That I have no regrets for the things that were, and that I tried hard, lived life to the fullest, and gave love to those that needed it. Not much to ask for right?

    Let's Start with...Clutter

    Where do I begin. To be honest, I can be quite messy. I never felt the urge to make my bed in the morning, throw out junk mail when it comes in, or wash my dishes right away. I even told my husband when we moved in together that, “my only allergy is washing dishes”. Luckily we struck a deal and I do the cooking, he does the dishes. 
    An old condo pic of my place. Papers on the tables, office in the back piled with papers and clothes...

    Although I don't like to clean up after myself, I do in fact clean. The necessary things of course, so I am not a slob! It's all the other little things, like mail, miscellaneous papers floating around in random places (my night table, kitchen counter, any available surfaces really). Things me and my husband never put away, family pictures, bills, receipts, cards, books, and at the top of this list, empty plastic bags (courtesy of my lovely hubby, lol). They start stacking up and I quietly ignore the piles as they get higher and collect dust until they start to look like a Jenga Tower that just might collapse. As much as I try to ignore the pile, as soon as I look at it, I feel this surge of heat creep up my neck and I start to panic, feel crazy and then end up doing a 2 hour cleaning session where no one can talk to me and I can't be bothered. Then a month later the whole cycle starts again because I started a new pile the very next day.

    When I was a kid, I never had to clean. I thought that was a good thing, but as I look back, it's a skill that I need to live a better life today. It was something that was never taught to me, my grandmother who lived with us made my bed every morning, the toys I played with magically got put back in my toy box whenever I was done, and I never had to clean my room (a kid's dream!) However, this has backfired on me today. Now that I am aware of the problem, I must find solutions! 
    Some of the reasons why people get clutter are that they can't let go of items because:
    • they are keeping things out of sentimental value (someone you care about gave it to you)
    • mentality of “I might use this in the future” not throwing things out just in case
    • Buying things because they're on sale
    • paying a lot for something (no matter how old it is) so you can't let it go
    • not having enough time to clean
    • not making cleaning a priority

    I don't want to live in a state of anxiety and stress anymore. I was looking up some ways online how to live clutter-free and here are some of the good ones:

    • Start with one area at a time so as not to feel overwhelmed
    • Give things away to a charity or local centre if you haven't used them in a year (especially clothes, it'll make you feel good too!)
      Buy less things
    • Buy things of quality, not quantity
    • Deal with bills & file receipts as soon as you're finished
    • Do groceries & shopping with a list and don't stray from it
    • Spend 10 minutes a day to unclutter a certain area
    • Everyday make time to do something different: i.e. Mon-dusting, Tue-dusting etc...
    • Put all clothes in the laundry bin right away
    • Throwing things out right away that are not needed
    • Put items away as soon as your done using them

    Things You Should Throw
    Old Makeup
    Books you haven't read
    Expired Medication
    Duplicates of things
    Old Toys
    Obsolete gadgets
    Old magazines, newspapers
    Old receipts, cards
    Old boxes that have nothing in them
    Old cassette tapes, vhs tapes, etc...

    Things You Should Give Away
    Clothes that don't fit
    Clothes that haven't been used in the last year
    Gadgets you've never used that are still good (coffee makers, griddles)
    Gifts you're never going to use (just make sure you don't give it back to the person who gave it to you!)
    Books you haven't read
    Kitschy party jewelry that you've never worn
    Baby's gifts & clothes that haven't been used

    This New Year's morning, I uncluttered my night table. I have plans to tackle my dresser tomorrow.

    Monday, 12 December 2011

    In the Beginning...

    The Many Definitions of Spirituality...

    When I looked up in Merriam-Webster online the meaning of spirituality there were four definitions.

    1: something that in ecclesiastical law belongs to the church or to a cleric as such
    2: clergy
    3: sensitivity or attachment to religious values
    4: the quality or state of being spiritual

    Personally, I feel no connection with all the definitions given, so I had to look up what being spiritual was all about. Here are their definitions:

    1: of, relating to, consisting of, or affecting the spirit: incorporeal<spiritual needs>
    2a : of or relating to sacred matters <spiritual songs> b : ecclesiastical rather than lay or temporal <spiritual authority> <lords spiritual>
    3: concerned with religious values
    4: related or joined in spirit <our spiritual home> <his spiritual heir>
    5a : of or relating to supernatural beings or phenomena b : of, relating to, or involving spiritualism

    Ahhh. Here we go. Closer to my ideals. So basically, going back to my ideas and relating to this, I believe we all have souls or energy (another way to call it) and this is something that can't be seen or heard. That we are all connected to the same source, what we call God or perfection. I don't believe that God is an old man with a big flowing beard looking down from the heavens, but an energy that connects us to the world and each other. I have no physical proof, but just faith.

    The Definition of Heaven

    1: the expanse of space that seems to be over the earth like a dome :
    2a often capitalized : the dwelling place of the Deity and the blessed dead b : a spiritual state of everlasting communion with God
    3 capitalized : god
    4: a place or condition of utmost happiness
    5 Christian Science : a state of thought in which sin is absent and the harmony of divine Mind is manifest

    I don't personally think Heaven is the expanse of space over the earth, but more like the place or condition of utmost happiness. So everyone's is going to be different right? Because happiness is relative to your own personality, circumstances, dreams etc...

    What does the word Heaven mean to me? 
    A perfect place, paradise.
    Where there are no regrets.
    Where all the people I love are happy.
    Where there is love, joy, kindness, forgiveness, truth, enlightenment, peace, sharing, abundance, miracles.
    Where life is beautiful and you never feel alone.
    As close to perfection, God, the universe, as I can get.
    Where anything is possible.

    Tying it all together...

    The reason why I am starting this blog is to:

    Create as much a personal Heaven on Earth for myself and my loved ones by finding my own spirituality and reflecting on my life so far.

    Become a better person in the process, or what I consider to be the best possible me.