Letting Go Part 2

Wow, great news! I have actually been cleaning up, EVERY DAY since the new year!!! I have been making the bed every morning, putting the baby's toys away each night, taking care of the mail, and many other stuff like it's nobody's business! I've even got in some time to make MJ's baby food, start a painting of my pup Leia, and cooked some great food. Where did all this time come from? I have no idea, but I like it! Also, I am EXHAUSTED, but happy that things are getting done!

One last thing on the cleaning up the clutter note, for those that have jewelry that's all over the place (like I did), here's a neat idea that I myself cannot claim I came up with, but saw it somewhere on some show. Instead of a jewelry box that doesn't have that many compartments, go to any all-purpose store and invest in a fishing tackle box. That's right, a plastic tackle box. I bought one at Walmart for five bucks and now my earrings are all in order, amazing!

Best $5 I've spent in a while!

So back to my theme of letting go...

Hanging onto resentment is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head.
-- Ann Landers

Let go. Why do you cling to pain? There is nothing you can do about the wrongs of yesterday. It is not yours to judge. Why hold on to the very thing which keeps you from hope and love?
-- Leo Buscaglia

Letting go doesn’t mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be.
-- Anon

Letting go of the past, the things that you hold onto and all the emotions that go with them. There were many times in my life where someone disappointed me, didn't live up to my expectations, hurt and wronged me and never apologized for it. There were also may times where I disappointed myself, for not saying or doing the right things. I can sit here and make a list, but it would only bring back all the negative emotions that come with thinking about them. Reliving those events over and over are wasting my todays and tomorrows. They already happened and I cannot change what was, no matter how I wish things were different.

And here's where reliving the past screws you over and no one else. It's only you that carries the emotional burden on your shoulders. Choosing to remain angry, sad, etc, only hurts yourself. The person that wronged you, they're not thinking about how they hurt you. They're probably enjoying their dinner as we speak. As much as we'd like for people to feel our “pain”, they don't. More often, they move forward, while you hold yourself back and hold a pity party. That's how I sometimes felt. Some event would happen in my day, and I would be reminded about an incident and then I would feel physically awful. That's how much it would affect me. And emotions like that, can change the mood of your whole day. Your life. It just eats away at the good things that are happening in your life right now and you lose sight of what's good. You cannot control what other people do, you can only control your reaction. Forgiving a situation, a person, yourself, it's not for them, it's for yourself.

You'll feel so much better, physically and mentally; the heavy burdens you carry will be lifted and you'll feel free. Some benefits of forgiveness are:

• Well-being spiritually, physically, & mentally
• Healthier relationships
• Less stress, anxiety, depression
• Lower blood pressure

Forgiveness is a gift I give to myself over and over again.

Practicing forgiveness is something that needs to be done constantly. It's easy to get mad at someone or a situation, when you're used to doing that, but I think that if you remind yourself everyday and you practice (just like a little kid learning their ABC's) one day you'll just wake up and it'll be a way of life. Some ways to start forgiveness is to:

Start small. Forgive the little things (for example) some sales attendant that was unfriendly, a car that cut you off, your spouse for not reading your mind (haha). The next time a situation occurs, instead of being defensive or annoyed, make it a point to ask yourself, is it worth getting upset right now? Do I want to live in a negative state? More or less, you'll probably let it go.

Write a heartfelt letter to someone who has hurt you (remember that you don't need to mail it, it's really for you...unless you really need to, by all means send it). By expressing the situation and the hurt feelings you can get a load off of shoulders. Tell them how you felt, how they hurt you and then visualize them listening to what you have to say or reading it (even if it's not in their real nature). At the end of it, tell them, “I forgive you. I release this negative burden I carried. You no longer have a hold on me.”

Ask for forgiveness. If you have wronged someone and you know it, ask for forgiveness and mean it. It is a very humbling experience. Personally, I know I have had many situations where I walked away because I could not bring myself to admit my wrongs. Relationships have suffered because of it, and I know that if I had only let go of my pride and said “I'm sorry” things would have turned out differently. If you have a chance to apologize to someone, do it. Because you might just get back a relationship you thought was lost.

Also, there is a way to apologize. A bad apology is always worse than not giving one at all. It's insulting to the other person to receive a half-apology. Some bad examples are:

• “I'm sorry you feel bad about...” it's like saying they can't control their own emotions
• “I'm sorry for what I've done, but you also need to apologize to me...” I need an apology so I'm apologizing to you.
• “I'm sorry but...” my all-time favorite. It's giving an excuse for why you did what you did, you're not really accountable.
• “Sorry!” said in a pushy or phony way. It needs to be done sincerely!

The best apology is:

• (Sincerely) "I am sorry that I hurt you by state the wrong doing here. I didn't mean to do it. What can I do to make things better?"

Doesn't that sound nice? And if someone wronged you and they don't say sorry back, that's out of your control and why let it eat at you. Forgive them (for yourself!) and move on.

Forgiveness means that you are no longer a victim to your circumstances. Ask yourself, do you want to be a victim or a hero to yourself? I personally want to be the hero and save my life.

One of the things I have been doing the last year and a half is saying affirmations. Daily. Basically, you say a phrase each day that you really believe in. You think about it and feel the feelings that come with saying that phrase, and remind yourself as much as you can. You can even write it down somewhere you can see. By doing this, you remind yourself of what you want, where you want to be, and the positive emotions that come with them. Here are some really good forgiveness affirmations that I've found:

I release myself from my anger and let the past go. 

 

My memory of this situation is healed. I move forward with renewed joy toward life.

Forgiveness expands within me to let the past go and open my eyes to the happiness of tomorrow. 

 

I now liberate my past from my mind, body and affairs. I AM free! 

 

I set my past free and forgive myself.

I release resentment and let it go. The past has no power over me.

I let go of everything inside that is holding me back, which automatically unlocks positive energy that propels my life to a bright and exciting level.

I face negative and difficult people with kindness, forgiveness, and positivity.

Forgiveness is the best gift to give yourself...it brings you and others peace of mind, and if that isn't closer to heaven, I don't know what is :)